unspoken

there's a time in life, where you feel so down, and everything around you seems to fall, and you can't see any hope or way out of the mess. all you can do is to sit on the corner of the room and feeling blue all day long.

or sometimes when crazy thought come across your mind when all you can think of is to cut your wrist and hoping to end all the mess that has been buzzing around your brain. such a waste.

well, i am not very good at telling others how i really feel, because at every story i tell, i tend to hide half of the truth from my listener and keep it all by myself, and which eventually making me misery. its like being an entertainer, you know, give your audience what they want to hear. 

and then i learned that things that is left unspoken will actually eat you alive. get what i mean? who knew growing up can be such a hard journey. whenever you feel something that's inside you, look for the best companion to share with. companion that could give you advise and good informational feedback instead of laughing on your stories as you were telling them some kind of jokes.

as much as i want to tell the whole stories, there are some part that are too private, too difficult to tell as nowadays, people like to twist everything on what they see, what they understand. some might stereotyping you which makes you look bad. so, it is hard times. 

its hard to tell what you feel, and what makes it even harder when others wont listen to every words you were saying. or sometimes neglect your feelings even though you give your whole effort to tell.

and for some possible and impossible reason i may or may not been through, 

i think i would give up on love as it broke me over and over again.....