Sunday, June 20, 2010

just when everything falls apart.

when your days get rough, do you ever feel like you would rather sleep forever and never wake up?. well, at least lebih baik dari bunuh diri. ( x sakit...) u know what? thats what i feel right now..
when i came to think, even if i trust someone and i tell him/her about my thoughts somehow, i bet they wouldn't understand...
life become so hard for me this lately,..sometimes i got distracted with other easier things, but then it came back, making me miserable again and again.
some bad situation, i can motivate on my own but for this, i can't do this alone.
i need answers for every questions i had..... i need reasons, for every step i had to take...i need clue for every problems that i had to face..and i need shoulder to cry on for every heartbreak-moments that i experience.
yea, did i tell you i cried a lot these days?. i did..kadang2 org xnampak, cuz im crying inside., susa, tau tak...but most of the time i cried when no one's around. my future,present and past makes me burst into tears..sometimes bcus of my family or frens. suddenly jadik budak pendiam,. i dont talk much like before. even, yesterday when im having reunion with my frens, i just keep my mouth shut, (except with ajer. i like talking with him ). but i laugh a lot...just laugh...i dont know why..maybe my problems avoid me from making another worst chapter of my life..i guess,.laugh is a good remedy, some says,..but it does not work for me right now. i laugh too for good jokes! but know...too much, jadi x eklas...confuse la sangat2 skrg ne. i cant find light in this dark afraid, i would fall and gone forever..huhu. God, please, help me...i really need You. im begging!

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