confused.

when those thought came into my head,
i know i cant keep thinking bout it cos it confusing me.
but then,
it came again and again and keep me think
am i at the right position beside you?
a friend or foe, i might be one of it,
or maybe love; something that sounds possible yet to good to be true.
i need an answer; cos it is the only thing that keeps me calm,
but came to think about it, makes me afraid of the answer i might get.
afraid of the same history that happens years ago will repeat itself -
frustrated and hopeless..
then, i think of something way more important than what i am thinking now.
way, way more important. but still, the thoughts of it remain buzzing in my head.
i can just shoosh away those thought but i cant..
it gave me so many clues to the answer i have been looking for but still,
translating is a hard thing for me to do.
sometimes, it give me a real big thinking-time to think about it but
then again it came back as a disappointment.
i don't know...i just..don't know what should i do.
if i do nothing, well, i cant stand of the silent situation.
but if i did something, I'm afraid i might done the same mistakes.
oh...this is hard!!!